It amazes me how a city like DC full of hustle and bustle can be silenced and rendered still by snow. How everything can be forced to shut down. No Uber’s, metros or buses. It is like we are being forced to take a time out and just “be” for a few days.
At first the idea of having no where to go is great, think of all the time available for reading, watching Netflix’s and movies, think of all the projects that you can finally do and the money you will save. But after a day of being trapped indoors, the stir crazy starts to set in. The rooms look smaller and being still is hard.
For me it is symbolic, because for the last few weeks I have been seeking out wisdom and guidance from God and he as repeatedly called me to do nothing, to just be still and let him do some work. And it is hard. At times I feel as if my mind is going stir crazy. My natural instinct is to make plans, to put things into action, to be a mover and a shaker. I am not good at taking naps, I feel more than slightly guilty if I spend a day doing nothing. I struggle to let go and just let things be, especially things I really care about. I fight for what I want. So when I am told to just be nothing but still, I am out of my element.
At the start of the year, my mom said to me “try just being still and see what God has for you, wait on his plan instead of making your own plans. Relax in the fact that you don’t have to be in control right now.” This sounded really great, but at the same time I liked my plans. I recently had just started reading my bible again. I had a devotional book I bought a few months ago, I decided to start using it. After my mom suggested that I become “still” I was shown about eight different passages that contained the word “still”. It started coming up in the podcasts I listen to, it showed up in my Pinterest feed, it was literally everywhere I looked. It was very clear that this is how I was to react to some changes in my life.
Do not be afraid, stand firm and you will see the deliverance. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:13-14
I decided to take the cue. It has been hard but comforting at the same time. I am still not sure what is at work in my life at this moment, I don’t know what the plan God has in mind is. I just am assured that he has one, that I am not supposed to be calling the shots right now. I am supposed to stop overthinking and plotting and just working so hard to control the plan and the timing. Instead I am supposed to trust God and wait and see what he has in store. Wait till he is ready to give me a clear direction. I am to stop putting my plans into action. It is a tough pill to swallow.
Right now everyday feels like a snow day to me. It feels different than normal, it feels relaxed, it feels adventurous, some moments I get stir crazy and get tempted to venture out on my own, to take back the control and to start putting my own plans into motion. I started waking up early every morning. I have my coffee and spend time reading scriptures before work and I set aside time to pray. I want to make sure that I am listening and ready, that I am growing while being still. I want to react differently to life then I have in the past, I want to live by faith and not by the plans I map out.
This morning my readings showed me Psalm 98. The first line is “I sing a new song to the Lord.” It is clear that I have been asked to ditch my old thinking patterns and adapt new ones, to sing a new song. I want to stress this isn’t easy, and my mind drifts quickly into old patterns and ideas of plans and what if’s daily but I just keep focusing on not acting on those plans, to wait and listen.
After I finish writing this, I am bundling up to head out into the snow, to take in the beauty of what rendered the whole city still. To take pictures with my new camera. I know that at some point I will be asked to no longer be still, that I will venture out and I will have a clear path. I look forward to that day, but for now I am thankful for what I am learning and that I am slowly starting to realize that there is someone greater at making plans than me.
I hope you enjoy the day, that even if you aren’t called to be 100 percent still as I am right now, that you take a moment or two every day to be still and just be. Take a deep breath and know that there is an overall plan, one that you don’t have to manipulate or maneuver and I hope you find comfort in that thought. Happy Sunday!